It is always amazing at how fast a dream can be taken from
you. How quickly your life changes and
alters route. Throughout my career as a
ski racer I have come to many “y’s” in the road and I have also come to many
massive road blocks that totally alter my path.
One can never prepare for these times in our lives so it is can
debilitating when they come. In the eyes
of Canadians and the World, never has an amateur athletic career been so
important, as the 2010 winter Olympics approaches quickly and
relentlessly. Never has there been so
much anticipation and lead up as right now and thus comes pressure, expectation
and weighted dreams and goals.
Alpine Skiing is an extreme sport and probably one of the
Olympic’s most dangerous and injury prone disciplines. When you sign up to be
an alpine racer, you don’t do so without understanding the risks, repercussions
and challenges. I think that around 85%
of world cup racers have had some sort of knee injury. I would say that 100% have had at least one
major crash. I would say that we were
crazy, but as a racer myself, it is just part of the package and normal in my
eyes. Each of us must crave the
adrenaline, the excitement, the risk and the unknown, otherwise why would we be
doing what we do. I know that I am still
here, shooting for my 3rd Olympics with many injuries and crashes
under my belt and yet having never felt more confident, comfortable and prepared. To be a champion on the slopes you need to
take chances. The older and more experienced
that you get the more calculated they become but they are still “risks”. You will never win in the comfort zone and we
are not here for mediocre.
Having said all that, my heart is sad and sits at least a
couple inches lower than where it did a couple weeks ago. Having John Kucera and JP Roy out for the season
and their Olympic dreams dashed, I thought to myself “what bad luck” for our
team and country. Little did I know that
that was just the beginning of something so much bigger, darker and unexplainable.
Last week in Val D’Isere we were racing on the old hill, the
sun was out and everyone was excited to be back there and racing on that
track. I know that my spirits were considerably
lifted since I knew that I didn’t have to race on the world champ hill and also
because I really love the track in Val D’Isere. The sun was shining and it was a perfect day
for racing. Unfortunately it didn’t turn
out to be all that perfect for our team as we lost one of our young stars
Larisa Yurkiw. She took a good little
crash about halfway down the course and ended up blowing her knee…..Olympic Dream
ended. I was so sad for her. I was at a
loss of words but not emotion having experienced something similar 3 months
prior to Salt Lake City. I could understand a little bit of what she was going
through but definitely not on the same scale as it being a “home “Olympics. There has been such anticipation for this
event that when it gets taken away from you the “disappointment” is even
greater. She was a little trooper though and held her head high. She will be back stronger than ever and will eventually
lead our team to great things in the future.
Day 2. Training run
#2. Sunny day. Perfect course
conditions. Then what went wrong? It was as I was standing in the finish area
after my run while watching Kelly Vanderbeek come down the course, ripping turns
that things drastically changed. After catching
a couple edges and near recoveries she took a massive crash, her body torquing into
shapes and angles that make the cirque de soleil look mild. At that moment my heart sunk even lower. There are crashes that look bad but turn out
okay and then there are crashes that look bad and turn out bad. Well, Kelly’s was one of those. I almost don’t have words to explain the
emotion that I felt and the sadness that I felt for her. We are a small team with 5 girls and when two
are taken away from you, it changes everything.
When it is 2 of your friends and teammates that get hurt, it really
makes you realize how vulnerable you really are. Why did this happen to us? Why did this happen now when the games are so
close and the window for a comeback is well closed. Our team has never been more prepared, fit
and healthy. Why the curve ball
now? I truly felt like we really are in
no control of our destiny and or our dreams. Although Kelly put on a brave face and inspired
us to keep going, it was one of the toughest times in my career. She will come back and she will be stronger
because of it. She will have success again but in this moment I am so sorry
that her cards got dealt the way they did.
The day after the 2nd training run was the
combined race. I knew that I needed to
do something special. I knew that I needed to dig deep for myself and for my
team. It was only Shona and I competing so it was important that we bring something
good out of the day. The value of
getting back out there and conquering your fears is so strong and important that
I knew it was the only way to move on and build from our new reality. I charged out of the start gate in the downhill
portion of the race like never before, only to be flagged about 30seconds into
the course…..seriously!! It was almost like a joke. Karma is not on Alpine Canada’s side for
sure!! I was almost laughing as I got
onto the back of the skidoo and headed back up to the start of the race. I decided to have my rerun quite quickly
after arriving at the top because I knew that bad weather was coming in and I
also wanted to use the adrenaline that I had pumping already. I charged out the gate with even more vigour
the second time and ended up having one of the runs of my life, earning the 3rd
best time. In the finish I collapsed
because I was mentally and emotionally exhausted. I put so much into that run
and to earn a 3rd place finish was more than I could ever have asked
for. I felt that I had done my job and now
was play time for the slalom run. I have been training a little slalom lately so
I knew that I had the tools to hold my own out there and that I did, earning a
7th place overall finish in the combined race, finishing among the
top slalom skiers in the world. The slalom
course and hill was a lot of fun and as I like to call it, “downhiller friendly”!
Unfortunately, the downhill was cancelled the following day and
in the Super-G on Sunday I didn’t have a great race. I was really hoping to get in one last downhill
race down the track and really felt confident for Saturday but the wind and
snow where merciless. Hopefully they
will reschedule the downhill in January sometime.
Now I am in Rome enjoying a lovely little Christmas holiday
with my Mom and best friend. It is a great city in which to immerse yourself in
and get lost in. There is so much to
see, experience and learn. I drink more
coffee than water and could eat all day everyday! I will give a little Christmas blog in a
couple days time. I wish everyone a
Happy Holiday season and all the best in the New Year.
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