Bucket List……

Everyone should have a bucket list.  There should be no age limit and it should not be set in stone.  A bucket list is a list where you write down your secret dreams, missions and ambitions.  My first bucket list started about 4 years ago while hiking with my Mom and friend.  We were in Waterton National Park; it was fall the scenery was beautiful.  It was also bear season.  So we decided that we needed to be constantly talking which led to the creation of my first bucket list.

I have to be perfectly honest here and tell you that I do not remember all of them.  I suppose that it is a way to filter out the important ones from the not so important ones.  One that stayed on my list and in my mind was Rome.  This Christmas I got to check that off my list.  There is no better feeling in the world than a line through an item on a “list”!  The item stays but the line is such a feeling of accomplishment; okay I might be slightly driven and crazy!

Rome is such an amazing city; organized chaos. It felt like everywhere I looked and every corner I turned unveiled a new treasure, landmark or café.  My ignorance of Roman history is a little embarrassing but I must admit that upon seeing all the landmarks, I did in fact know about them.  I was the annoying little tourist too cheap to pay for a guide and opting instead to tag onto a group here and there and pick up some good info.  The history in the city of Rome is never ending.  The myths, the battles, the storylines, and the cultures are immense. At the heart of Rome is the Vatican and although much has changed between now and 2000 years ago, it is still the hub and it is still pulsing. I went to see the Pope at one of his Daily Audiences.  I always find it so surreal seeing someone so famous and so influential in person.  There were people from all over the world there to see him.  Sitting ahead of us was a group from Mexico! They were so enthusiastic and happy to see the Pope that I thought that I was at a hockey game; they even had cheers.

Being in Italy and in one of the fashion centers of the country, I could not bring myself to wear sneakers!! Instead, I donned my good old boots, and teetered my way over all the cobblestone streets; ah, the price of vanity.  My feet have never been so sore and I have a whole new appreciation for women who wear those types of shoes all day, every day!

Trying to be sneaky and not fall for the tourist traps we only went to restaurants and cafes off the beaten track.  The good news is, Rome does not have a shortage of restaurants or cafes.  I loved the food and wine.  It felt like my days revolved around walking and eating; not such a tough life.

I have always thought that they best way to discover a city is to walk.  Well, since I am an athlete and in the middle of the season I opted for a couple runs as well.  I am not too sure who was more confused; me getting lost in the maze of streets or the locals watching some North American run in tights on Christmas Eve!  The Italians definitely are not shy and their favourite pastime just might be staring!

My top 5 experiences of Rome are.

-          Fontana dell’Acqua  Paolo

-          The Sistine Chapel and St. Peter’s Basilica

-          The Colosseo

-          The “Wedding Cake” monument. AKA – Vittorio Emanuele Monument

-          Our two hours lunches which included amazing food and wine.  We often overstayed our welcome and cut into the owners “siesta” time….oops.

-          Roaming the tiny narrow streets, while avoiding being taken out by a moped.

I will never forget Rome. It is a place where I hope to return one day. I am so happy that I saw it away from the high tourist season and sweltering temperatures.  I feel that I got a more authentic and real experiences instead of battling people, pickpockets and lines.

It has been an amazing six days away from snow, mountains and ski boots.  I am refuelled and ready to go for the next part of the seasoon.

It is always amazing at how fast a dream can be taken from you.  How quickly your life changes and alters route.  Throughout my career as a ski racer I have come to many “y’s” in the road and I have also come to many massive road blocks that totally alter my path.  One can never prepare for these times in our lives so it is can debilitating when they come.   In the eyes of Canadians and the World, never has an amateur athletic career been so important, as the 2010 winter Olympics approaches quickly and relentlessly.  Never has there been so much anticipation and lead up as right now and thus comes pressure, expectation and weighted dreams and goals.

Alpine Skiing is an extreme sport and probably one of the Olympic’s most dangerous and injury prone disciplines. When you sign up to be an alpine racer, you don’t do so without understanding the risks, repercussions and challenges.  I think that around 85% of world cup racers have had some sort of knee injury.  I would say that 100% have had at least one major crash.  I would say that we were crazy, but as a racer myself, it is just part of the package and normal in my eyes.  Each of us must crave the adrenaline, the excitement, the risk and the unknown, otherwise why would we be doing what we do.  I know that I am still here, shooting for my 3^rd Olympics with many injuries and crashes under my belt and yet having never felt more confident, comfortable and prepared.  To be a champion on the slopes you need to take chances.  The older and more experienced that you get the more calculated they become but they are still “risks”.  You will never win in the comfort zone and we are not here for mediocre.

Having said all that, my heart is sad and sits at least a couple inches lower than where it did a couple weeks ago.  Having John Kucera and JP Roy out for the season and their Olympic dreams dashed, I thought to myself “what bad luck” for our team and country.  Little did I know that that was just the beginning of something so much bigger, darker and unexplainable.

Last week in Val D’Isere we were racing on the old hill, the sun was out and everyone was excited to be back there and racing on that track.  I know that my spirits were considerably lifted since I knew that I didn’t have to race on the world champ hill and also because I really love the track in Val D’Isere.   The sun was shining and it was a perfect day for racing.  Unfortunately it didn’t turn out to be all that perfect for our team as we lost one of our young stars Larisa Yurkiw.  She took a good little crash about halfway down the course and ended up blowing her knee…..Olympic Dream ended.  I was so sad for her. I was at a loss of words but not emotion having experienced something similar 3 months prior to Salt Lake City. I could understand a little bit of what she was going through but definitely not on the same scale as it being a “home “Olympics.  There has been such anticipation for this event that when it gets taken away from you the “disappointment” is even greater. She was a little trooper though and held her head high.  She will be back stronger than ever and will eventually lead our team to great things in the future.

Day 2.  Training run #2.  Sunny day. Perfect course conditions.  Then what went wrong?  It was as I was standing in the finish area after my run while watching Kelly Vanderbeek come down the course, ripping turns that things drastically changed.  After catching a couple edges and near recoveries she took a massive crash, her body torquing into shapes and angles that make the cirque de soleil look mild.  At that moment my heart sunk even lower.  There are crashes that look bad but turn out okay and then there are crashes that look bad and turn out bad.  Well, Kelly’s was one of those.  I almost don’t have words to explain the emotion that I felt and the sadness that I felt for her.  We are a small team with 5 girls and when two are taken away from you, it changes everything.  When it is 2 of your friends and teammates that get hurt, it really makes you realize how vulnerable you really are.  Why did this happen to us?  Why did this happen now when the games are so close and the window for a comeback is well closed.  Our team has never been more prepared, fit and healthy.  Why the curve ball now?  I truly felt like we really are in no control of our destiny and or our dreams.  Although Kelly put on a brave face and inspired us to keep going, it was one of the toughest times in my career.  She will come back and she will be stronger because of it. She will have success again but in this moment I am so sorry that her cards got dealt the way they did.

The day after the 2^nd training run was the combined race.  I knew that I needed to do something special. I knew that I needed to dig deep for myself and for my team. It was only Shona and I competing so it was important that we bring something good out of the day.  The value of getting back out there and conquering your fears is so strong and important that I knew it was the only way to move on and build from our new reality.  I charged out of the start gate in the downhill portion of the race like never before, only to be flagged about 30seconds into the course…..seriously!! It was almost like a joke.  Karma is not on Alpine Canada’s side for sure!!  I was almost laughing as I got onto the back of the skidoo and headed back up to the start of the race.  I decided to have my rerun quite quickly after arriving at the top because I knew that bad weather was coming in and I also wanted to use the adrenaline that I had pumping already.  I charged out the gate with even more vigour the second time and ended up having one of the runs of my life, earning the 3^rd best time.  In the finish I collapsed because I was mentally and emotionally exhausted. I put so much into that run and to earn a 3^rd place finish was more than I could ever have asked for.  I felt that I had done my job and now was play time for the slalom run.   I have been training a little slalom lately so I knew that I had the tools to hold my own out there and that I did, earning a 7^th place overall finish in the combined race, finishing among the top slalom skiers in the world.   The slalom course and hill was a lot of fun and as I like to call it, “downhiller friendly”!

Unfortunately, the downhill was cancelled the following day and in the Super-G on Sunday I didn’t have a great race.  I was really hoping to get in one last downhill race down the track and really felt confident for Saturday but the wind and snow where merciless.  Hopefully they will reschedule the downhill in January sometime.

Now I am in Rome enjoying a lovely little Christmas holiday with my Mom and best friend. It is a great city in which to immerse yourself in and get lost in.  There is so much to see, experience and learn.  I drink more coffee than water and could eat all day everyday!  I will give a little Christmas blog in a couple days time.  I wish everyone a Happy Holiday season and all the best in the New Year.

Well, who would have thought!!!

A 2^nd place finish in the downhill on Friday, followed by a 3^rd place finish on Saturday.  These results have happening in my mind for many many years, but to actually have them become a reality was almost beyond words.  After my performance on Friday it was like a giant weight and black cloud off of my shoulders as I finally conquered the Lake Louise track.  I have always loved racing here but I have never been able to execute my game plan on race day.  This year was different. I seemed to have this hidden and silent confidence about me.  I was happy with my training runs although none of them resulted in a top 10 finish.  I just knew that I had another gear and was going to do something special come race day.

When I woke up Friday morning, it was dumping with snow and looking like a not “ideal” downhill race day scenario but then I thought to myself why not. I grew in Fernie, which is the land of white fluffy stuff; why not turn this reality into a positive. I knew that some of the other girls would be hesitating with the poor visibility and that I could use it in my favour.  The start of the course ended up being moved down about 25 seconds which changed up the tactics of the course a little bit. I had been struggling in the upper section in training and now that that wasn’t a part of the race I felt more confident.  I charged out of the start with all the power, intention and motivation that I could muster up.  I skied with determination and drive, which in turn led me to one of the runs of my life.  The nerve racking part was not so much the actual racing the waiting game in the finish corral.  Having started 9^th, I had a long wait ahead of me to see if my 2^nd place position would hold and it did J  I don’t think that I have ever been more emotional with a result before.  This was something that I had been trying to do for over a decade.  It was something that I had been trying to do to show my appreciation for all the hard work and support that the volunteers, my sponsors, friends and family had put in each and every year.  This was my time to overcome pressure and expectation and make a dream come true.

Having achieved one of my career long goals, I had a deep desire to prove to people that it wasn’t just a “fluke”.  Saturday morning was cold, clear and one could call it quite “crisp”.  It was an ideal day for racing in Lake Louise.  This meant that we would be starting from the top and that it would be a full length, full Lake Louise Downhill. I was excited to race from the top and I knew that my confidence from yesterday would carry over to the second downhill.  In inspection I really looked at the top part of the course because I knew that if I was able to nail the upper part of the course I could do something special.  Needless to say, I attacked and charged the course like never before and came into the finish with a 6 tenth lead.  The long waiting game began again. I was really happy with my run but wasn’t so sure that it would hold up like yesterday.  Well, I can happily say that I was wrong.  I ended up in 3^rd place and racked up another podium finish in Lake Louise.  Not only was it probably the tallest podium finish ever, with Lindsey Vonn and Maria Riesch both on the podium but it was the same podium and the day before.

The last day of racing in Lake Louise was a Super-G.  Unfortunately, I didn’t really step up to the race plate and had to be happy with 17^th place.  After my two previous days of racing I could ask for no more and left the finish with a smile on my face!  On the day of the Super-G all 6 Canadian racers made it into the top 30 which was an amazing feet and a true testament to the talent and depth of our speed team.  Watch out for us in a couple weeks time in Val D’Isere, France.

I sit here at the Chateau Lake Louise,  on the cusp of an exciting, inspiring, challenging and consequential year.

Lake Louise is always host to the women’s opening World Cup of the season but this year it feels even more special.  I have never been more ready to race.  I have never been more anxious. I have also never been more aware of what it is at stake.

 With each subsequent year of racing that I do, the harder it is for me to really push it during the training season.  I believe that I become more of a race horse each year and thus making the desire to risk and “push it” in training slim. Although I truly believe that I have a 5^th gear, it is sometimes hard when I don’t see it reflected in the run times throughout the summer and fall training blocks.

When I pushed out of the start hut today for the first training run of the upcoming World Cup this weekend, there was a smile on my face and a readiness in my body language.  The nerves, the adrenaline and the challenge are what inspire me these days.  I feel that ski racing is a form of expression and today’s expression was one of fun, ease and joy.

Having had the men perform to the highest of expectations last weekend, there is somewhat of an expectation for us to follow.  Now, this works in two ways, one it is inspiring and motivating because we know what they have done this summer.  We have been given the same tools, and we have also had past success. On the other side of things, there is this massive pressure to match or even better the men’s performance.  This is a blessing in disguise because it can only prepare us for this upcoming season and the Olympic Games, which I now refer to as the “O” word.

I cannot predict the future but I think that it will be an exciting weekend of racing here in Lake Louise!